Schmoe Knows......San Antonio???

I suggest getting a beverage this is going to take a while.

My lovely bride was attending a conference in San Antonio and suggest, I come at the end of the week so we may have a few days and celebrate our wedding anniversary.
Shame on you if you forgot to get a card......like I did.
It's been 7 years....I think.

Day 1:

I flew Northwest Airlines from Grand Rapids to Detroit Metro.
Metro has the best men's restrooms, hands down.
Or is it pants down?
There is hook to hang your jacket and a little bar that flips down so you can hang your bag on it.
Plus it's nice and wide to set your USA Today as you finish each section.
And yes I kept my "stance" to a minimum.

Why is there a wiener dog on a leash walking through the airport?
Are the new breed of seeing eye dog?

No more peanuts on a flight.
Instead, you may purchase a third of a container of Pringles for $2 or a snack box for $5.
I did take the complimentary Pepsi.

The first night we stayed at the Hyatt.
Pricey, let me put it this way.
On the entertainment center/wetbar/dresser stood 2 bottles of warm Aquafina (that's water), each with a price tag of $5. They sit on a weighted platform, so that if they are MOVED, your room get's charged.

The first night we go to the Riverwalk for supper looking for authentic Mexican food.
We find a nice place, table for two along the river. Our server is Alonzo. Now if you've seen me, I'm kinda pale. Alonzo made me look like had a tan, and his fake Mexican accent didn't fool any of us. It seemed like the longer, the accent would waiver between Mexican and Italian and sometimes go away altogether. Were not real sure, but I think his real name is Fred.

We take a riverboat tour at night.
Very nice.
The boat carries 43 life jackets on board.

We go up in the Tower of America's.
San Antonio version of the space needle.

We bring the "yellow" trolley back to the hotel.
The driver has the trolley on 2 wheels and the other hand on the horn warning the pedestrians he is coming through. I notice his computer says "behind schedule 2 minutes".
Were making up time.
At the next stop, I see "ahead of schedule, 5 minutes"
As the passengers get their breath he announces we will waiting at this stop for 5 minutes.

For relaxation before we retire for the evening, we adjourn to the pool outside, on the roof, which is the 12th floor.
If I ever wear a Speedo like that.....anyone has the right to shoot me.
Also, how do grasshoppers get 12 stories high?
They kept jumping in the pool.
I've seen "A Bug's Life" many times, and Hopper and his gang always seem to be flying close tot he ground, not a cruising height of 12 stories.

Day 2:

We drive around Fort Sam Houston.
We drive around Lackland Air Force Base.

We have hotwings at Hooters on the Riverwalk.
Nothing says, Happy Anniversary, like a Hooters.

We made a trip to the Mercado Market (Mexican indoor flea market).
As we park, I teach my bride to parallel park.

The next couple of nights we are staying at the Holiday Inn.
We get a newly remodeled room because we our members of the "Priority Club".
We also get a bag of snacks.
A bottle of water, snack crackers and a assortment of candy.
Using Northwest Airlines and Hyatt math, I figure this is worth at least $12.
The new courtesy wake up call at the Holiday Inn, are construction workers directly above your room promptly at 8am.
Their new motto should be; "Holiday Inn, Sleeping In? My ass!!"

Day 3:

A day trip to Corpus Christi.
First we need a car wash.
Apparently, all crows and crackles (those are birds) also sleep at the Holiday Inn.
We'll in the trees, outside the Holiday Inn.
And I guess they don't sleep, ALL the time.
Because our silver Ford Focus, is now spotted with bird poo.
We need the washer fluid just see out the window.

The Rockin RV Park.
Is it REALLY "rockin" when all that is left are 3 abandoned run down trailers?

We take a drive out on Padre Island.
There we see the locals fishing.
One cowboy, because he had his cowboy boots and hat on; fully clothed walked out into the waves up to his arm pits, cast his pole out. The proceeded to walk back in and stick it into a piece of pvc, that acts as his pole holder.

We take a tour of the USS Lexington.
It is a retired aircraft carrier.
Very interesting and well worth the money.
Scenes from the movie "Pearl Harbor" were filmed there.

We enjoy appetizers at Landry's on the Corpus Christi Beach.
The best stuffed mushrooms, I have ever had.
No relation to Tom Landry.
I asked.

Day 4:

We fly home.
As I look out my window over the wing I ask myself, "why is there duct tape on the wing"
Maybe I should have bought the snack box.

The Best Idea I have Ever Seen at a Racetrack....

The Best Idea I have Ever Seen at a Racetrack....

No, not a wet t-shirt contest.

Ok, 2nd best idea.

An all-you-can-eat-buffet at a racetrack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MMMMM, open-face-club-sandwich.

That is just way to cool.

Humpy is the best.

Wonder if those seats are single seats, or the bench kind?

Henry "Butch" Miller

For a great interview with one of the best short track drivers ever, see the link below.
He will give his opinion on:
The COT
ASA
The old days
The best cheat
Cup with Travis Carter
Down at the bottom, click on "Play in Pop up"
http://realracinusa.com/racelog/?p=129
The pictures of the red car in the 1978 Port City House car that put Butch on the map and Port City Racing.
He won the Late Model track championship at Berlin in 1978.
Nice red shoes Butch.
Classy.
The white ASA car above was in 1985, driving for Leroy Throop with crew chief Kevin Hamlin and the beginning of his dominance in ASA, ARTGO or any short track race in the country.
Butch has won so much, he doesn't remember when and where.
The first ASA race he is talking about that he won, he says was at "Fort Wayne".
Is wrong.
It actually was the ASA race in Hartford, the "Strawberry Blossom 100".
Butch may not remember, but I do.
I wonder who the other 2 cup teams he had a choice of driving for?

Me and Scott Riggs

Schmoe: Psst - Scott, who don't you like racing with?
Scott: Um........ah....................um.........................well..................
Schmoe: The Busch brothers?
Scott: Yes! No, give and take and the rookies, Reutiman and Ragan.
Schmoe: Where's your son?

Did you know him?

Did you know him?

Being a race fan, that is the question that I was asked this week.

No, I did not.

I had never personally talked to Lee.

However, as a race fan I had watched him race many times.

And win.

I had read about a lot of his races.

I knew he raced in Columbus, Toledo, Dixie, etc and read the race reports.

I listened to his radio interviews.

I knew he started his own chassis company, Perfect Circle.

I knew he was a talented painter and airbrushed helmets.

Just because I didn't KNOW him, it doesn't make his passing any easier.

As a race fan your not "close" to these drivers.

You generally don't have a "personal" relationship with them.

You sit in the stands, enjoy the competition and marvel at their talent.

You may NEVER talk to a driver yet you know who they are.

They have entertained you.

They have raced for you.

And it's still tough when you lose one.

I will attend the Lee Anderson Memorial Race.

I will buy the t-shirts and decals benefiting his daughter.

And I'll pray for his family.

Godspeed Lee.

The King and He's Still Pissed...33 Years later.

All Hail the King!!!
200 wins
7 time Nascar champion
7 time Daytona 500 champion
27 wins in 1967
10 wins in a row in 1967
All above are records.
His greatest rival through those years was David Pearson.
And after 33 years, they are still arguing about the 1974 Firecracker 400
http://www.thatsracin.com/108/story/5308.html
Those were the days.

The Wreckers..............

When I hear of "The Wreckers", I don't think of the country band.

I think of John Wood (top photo) and Steve Wallace (bottom Photo)

AKA "weapons"

I have some sound advice, find another career.

Let's talk Wood.

Jon is still on the sidelines after an "adverse reaction" to ADD medication causing severe headaches.

How does that explain the wrecks BEFORE the medication?

http://www.scenedaily.com/stories/2007/06/25/scene_daily1062.html

Uh, ok.

And wrecking got's nothing to do with???

Here's Steven.

Steve, who drew the wrath of Michigan driver Freddy "Soupy" Campbell a couple of years ago at Berlin, when............................

You guessed it!!!

He wrecked him.

He and his famous dad, Rusty are squabbling, in the media.

That's classy.

He took someone else out Saturday at Loudon.

http://www.thatsracin.com/208/story/5141.html

The issue is their both young.

Driving way over their heads.

A ton of money behind them.

And zero talent.

Random Rants

Stuff bouncing around inside my noggin:

She's taken.
Wendy Venturinia, that is.
http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/more_sports/2007/06/27/2007-06-27_the_stories_venturini_could_tell.html
For you SINGLE men, she's engaged.
Move on.

What the F***!
http://www.frontstretch.com/jmeyer/10155/
Oh, yeh!
Nothing better than a F bomb sliding past the delay button making it's way to the airwaves.
Uttered from the mouth from Kyle Petty, only 1 lap after leading his team in prayer.
Absolutelyfukinprecious.
You can't script sh** like that.
And this gem from a drone from TNT,
........all 43 cars in NASCAR races are miked, TNT spokesman Jeff Pomeroy says, and the audio that pops up on-air can't always be identified: "We can assume that audio came from one of the three cars in the accident. But we can't be sure it was Kyle."
http://www.usatoday.com/sports/columnist/hiestand-tv/2007-06-25-hiestand-weekend_N.htm
Then why did Kyle apologize?
Wish I had a TNT spokesperson for some of my past sins, "We can assume one of the cars were doing 84 in a 55 officer. But we we can't be sure it was Mr. Ruch."

The Natural
Tim Steele retires
http://www.arcaracing.com/content/view/5131/2/
Good move.
The SMART move.
I'm sure a TOUGH move.
The kid had "it".
Raw natural talent.
Fearless.
It was painful to watch him struggle at Berlin in his late model the past year.
The fall from grace was tough to watch and imagine tougher for Tim.
I have said many times, Tim was better than Johnny Benson Jr.
When Tim was healthy and in his prime, he was awesome.
Now, I also said he didn't have the PR savvy and gift of gab as JB.
If I was a mad scientist, I'd take Tim's talent with JB's PR, and I'd be mopping up in cup.
I applaud Tim's decision.
But the Steele fans can still root for that famous red #16 with a new local talent.
Another Kid.
http://www.johnnyvandoorn.com/

Sonsabitches will let him race
Floyd's back in the car this week.
http://www.tonyraines.com/
All is right for the Raines fans.

Shame on Berlin
The blue tarps were brought out for the big late model wreck
AKA the "death curtain", because when you see them at a track, it's not good.
Yet, no Official word from the track on the status of those injured in the wreck.
And you wonder where all the "rumors" and "bad information" stem from?
Your inability to set the record straight with the facts.
You have a website.
Use it to your advantage.

Some Berlin Observations......

* 11 car wreck
Picture is above of an 11 car pileup at Berlin Saturday night.
Great Photos by track photographer Tom Devette.
http://tomdevettephotography.smugmug.com/AUTO%20RACING
It would only have been a 5 car wreck but the last 6 drivers could see no further than their dash, shame on them.

* Blue Tarps are bad news at a Race Track
The above wreck brought about a driver being cut out of the car. This was done after it was announced all drivers were ok AND after they moved two cars.
THEN they bring out the blue tarps to prevent the fans from looking?????
I don't get it.
If everyone is ok, then why the tarp.
I see a "blue tarp", I think bad, real bad.
Thankfully, the driver cut out of his car waved from the stretcher to the crowd, which brought a well deserved cheers.

* Merging
The track official who sent the #8 out in front of the pack out of turn 4, can be relieved of his duties. What a dumbass move.
This precipitated a caution being thrown, then a pile-up on the back stretch.

* Green Flag
Drivers need to learn how to start a race.
There were horrible starts and re-starts, where they couldn't start side by side.
And a few waved off.
It's not that hard of a task.

* Stupid Stocks
The nickname heard rumbling through the stands as the marathon feature was going on for the "Super Stocks"

See you at the races.

Rescue Me - The best show on TV

Don't call at 10pm on Wednesday night.
I'm busy.
Rescue Me, starring Denis Leary airs on FX at 10pm on Wednesday.
It's one of the few shows that has me laughing out loud.
The writing is phenomenal, and you have to catch the replays, to see the one-liners you missed.
Yes, it pushes the envelope.
Granted, it's not for everyone.
But being a Denis Leary fan, I applaud the writing and twists and turns the plot lines take.
Some memorable quotes:

Franco Rivera: He's retarded.
Kenny Lou: Like Rainman retarded or Paris Hilton retarded?

Uncle Teddy: [in Tommy's house, the kitchen is an absolute mess] Hey, Tommy! Check it out! I made chili tonight!
Tommy Gavin: Yeah, no shit. What did ya do, mix it with a goddamn shotgun?

Chief Jerry Reilly: [watching Sean Garrity and Probie playing Scrabble] Look at this - a meeting of the minds and the minds are a no-show.

Uncle Teddy: [after a suicide attempt] Is this heaven?
Tommy Gavin: No, it's my *garage*!

Kenny Lou: "Mint Pussy". Probably one of *the* worst Ben & Jerry's flavors ever.

Tommy Gavin: Let me tell you something, sister, you serve two purposes in this house - you can give me a blow job or make me a sandwich. I'm not in the mood for head and I had a late breakfast, so you're shit out of luck.

Richard: She's got the sweetest ass!
Franco: How do you know if she's in a wheelchair?
Richard: They stand her up sometimes.

Sean: Why is he pulling out a peppermill?
Maggie That's not a peppermill!

What is a Cup Team Worth?

http://www.forbes.com/2007/06/15/nascar-valuable-teams-biz-cz_jg_0615nascar.html?boxes=custom

Great article on what Cup teams are worth.

Two great stats from the article.

Hendrick expects a big pop to the bottom line when "Junior" arrives. The company already pulls in more than $17 million from licensing, but Earnhardt pulled in more than that by himself last year. "I do plan on expanding my gift shop," says Hendrick.

Think about that, the ENTIRE Hendrick team pre-Junior pulls in $17 million, Junior does that all by himself.

That is why everybody was clamoring to sign Junior.

And why letting him go was a company ending move by wicked step-mom, Theresa.

And this nugget.

Despite soaring costs, the average NASCAR team banks $12.3 million in profits, or roughly 15% of revenue. That compares with $16.5 million and less than 10% for teams in Major League Baseball.

Average?

Average profit per team is $12.3 million.

That is why, you see the million dollar Prevost's, lear-jets and multi-million dollar homes by owners and drivers.

Lake Norman is known as the "Redneck Riviera".

What is a Cup Team Worth?

They Benched My Driver........Sonsabitches.

I never liked the Dallas Cowboys.
I was never into "America's Team".
Always thought they were arrogant and cocky.
Now, the Cup team, called Hall Of Fame Racing (arrogant), co-owned by two former cowboys, Roger Staubach and Troy Aikman, bench my boy, Tony Raines in favor of road racing specialist, Ron Fellows.
What a crock of shit!!!
Roger and Troy are just figureheads who don't know the difference between a lug nut and a nut cracker.
The blame goes to Bill Saunders, the managing partner, who comes from a road racing background and probably a buddy of Ron Fellows.
http://www.nascar.com/2007/news/headlines/cup/06/19/rfellows.traines.road.races/index.html
I'm surprised he didn't put himself in the seat instead of Fellows.
HOF has sub-par equipment at best.
The single car team, leases cars and motors from Joe Gibbs Racing.
They unload slow, qualify slower and race even slower.
They are on their 2nd crew chief.
The over the wall crew are slow, and I'm being nice.
At Dover a few weeks ago, Floyd had a great run going.
They left a wheel loose at the start of the race.
Nice oversight there crew chief.
In the race as Floyd had charged into the top-15, guess what they left another wheel loose.
So for the 2 road course races this year, they decide to put Fellows in the car.
Here's hoping they fall flat on their ass.
Floyd, needs to look for a better gig.
Can Floyd run up front?
Damn, straight.
If you give him a decent car.
The photo above is from 2005, he actually led 2 laps in that race with the #37, before they ran outta gas with 2 laps to go.
So given good equipment, he can do the job.
Screw HOF!

MIS Traffic No Problem....For The Citzens Bank 320

Yesterday I went to my first MIS cup race since 1990.
I had stayed away from a track 2 hours away to attend races 12 + hours away (Bristol & Charlotte) to avoid traffic.
I did have a feeble attempt about 7 years ago to attend a Cup race. But after sitting on Hwy 127 for over an hour and missing the start of the race.
I had decided to stay away from the Cup races at MIS.
The last time I was there, I watched my favorite cup driver at the time Butch Miller.
We had no traffic issues yesterday.
We watched the Citizen Bank 320 and drove right out, no traffic issues at all.
Oh, it was the Citizens Bank 400?
Ok, we left with 40 laps to go.
We saw the winning pass.
Carl was leading.
It was hot.
It was boring.
Typical Michigan.
Great three and four wide racing.
But the traffic is horrid.
And I wasn't taking a chance.
No way.
Traffic in?
No problem, we left Grand Rapids at 545 am, drove right in at 745 am
Since the tickets were free, this Dutch boy don't mind leaving with 40 laps to go.
Kudos to Glaceau Vitamin water for the great time at the hospitality tent.
First class all the way.

Before And After Shots

Don't they make a cute couple.

Ray is 50.

Erin is 26.

Ray was, emphasis on "was", married for 19 years.

Erin drives for Ray.

She has yet to win a race.

Looks like she won Ray.

My favorite is the last photo of Ray.

If looks could kill.

"You Wanna Swap Rides?"

Rick Hendrick said a few weeks ago,"there is no room at the inn".
Guess what?
Kyle got shoved out the door and Voila!
We have one room available.
Anyone interested?
You with the Bud uniform on and with your hand in the air, may I help you?
What's your name son?
Dale Jr
Nice to meet you.
Have a seat....for the next five years.

Good Ole Boys Club Still Alive And Kicking

No hard feelings, right?
Nope.
Shit Happens.
Remember that whole Johnny Benson, unapproved Nascar driver Mike Lichty truck crash last month at Charlotte?
Nice to see a couple can work things out.
JB, team owner Bill Davis got fined.
The crew chief got suspended.
But all is well within the "circle of trust".
JB is back running an ISMA Supermod for the Lichty family at Toledo this Friday.
http://www.arcaracing.com/content/view/5059/2/
Let's hope everyone has their licenses in order.

Time For A Change

Rodney sucks!

I Root For...............Floyd Anthony Raines

Floyd Anthony Raines
The mug above, that's my guy.
Also known as Tony to you cup fans.
Who??
I get that all the time.
Anyone can root for Jeff Gordon, Tony Stewart or Jimmie Johnson.
Or even Kurt Busch. If you want to keep defending his actions and lack of "poor judgement".
But it takes a REAL race fan to root for Floyd.
Floyd ain't challenging for a win every week, but he is doing what he loves, driving a stock car in Nascar Nextel Cup.
Which a lot of weekly short track drivers wish they could say.
Floyd was the 1996 ASA champion and parlayed that into a Nascar Truck ride, there he won 4 races, two at I-70 Speedway and one each at Louisville Motor Speedway and Texas Motor Speedway.
He then got a chance in the Busch Series.
Over the course of 8 years he hasn't won a race in 187 starts.
In his 97 career Cup starts we only have 2 top 10 finishes.
We know our team isn't Hendrick Motorsports, but we keep the faith.
So, a good day is running in the top 20 and a top 15 we get real excited.
Floyd still sells hats, t-shirts and die-cast cars.
And yes, I have my share.
The next time your watching a race, check to see where my guy Floyd is running remember this.
Has Jeff Gordon ever looked this happy?

Busch: I thought I would get parked this weekend

The many faces of Kurt Busch

It's nice to know Kurt Busch agrees with me.

http://www.nascar.com/2007/news/headlines/cup/06/08/kbusch.comments.penalty/index.html

Kurt said "I thought I would get parked this weekend"

No shit Sherlock.

And so did Josh Pate of Nascar.com

http://www.nascar.com/2007/news/opinion/06/08/jpate.kbusch.penalty.crime/index.html

Nascar says it "considered" it

http://www.nascar.com/2007/news/headlines/cup/06/08/kbusch.rpemberton.responds/index.html

Like I said gutless.

Let get together, August 15th at Berlin Raceway and give Kurt a great big West Michigan welcome.

http://www.berlinraceway.com/news/news_032007.shtml

NOT!!!!

Haven't booed anyone at Berlin since Mike Eddy in 1990

Or was it 1991?

Doesn't matter, I know it happened.

Spun Bob turn 4, outta the lead.

Bastard.

Can't wait to wear my Jimmy Spencer T-shirt and have Kurt autograph it.

Who could root for Kurt Busch?

Where's Billy Wease when you need him?

Gutless Nascar

Dumbo got away with one.

Gutless Nascar announced this morning

http://www.nascar.com/2007/news/headlines/cup/06/08/kbusch.penalty/index.html
Kurt Busch will not be suspended for his attempted murder of Tony Stewart's jack man at Dover.
He was docked 100 points.
Big whoop.
He was also fined $100,000.
Ohhhh, I bet that hurt.
That's the Busch household monthly budget for cosmetic surgery.
See the taxi cab doors open in that picture above, I mean ears.
Look at him now, there pinned back with super glue now.
His wife Eva?
C'mon those ain't real.
He'll be real remorseful say he's sorry, blah, blah, blah.
Kurt Busch needs to thank Bill France Jr, he got a mulligan.
Gutless non-call.

PPV Is Cool......

I bought my first PPV last night.
No, it wasn't "Naughty Newscaster's 9".
However, I must admit those titles are rather eye catching.
As for the plot lines and the moving pictures, I wouldn't know.
My PPV purchase for $24.95 was the dirt late model race, "Prelude to the Dream".
Before you label me a "loooooooooooooooser" remember, the title of the Blog is "Schmoe Knows Racing", not "Schmoe Knows Naughty Newscasters".
Schmoe not stupid.
It was a good race and even a better telecast.
No commercials.
A ton of smiles and laughs, by the drivers.
Without the pressures of a Cup race, Cup sponsors, car owner and big brother Nascar watching over you, the drivers were having fun.
And it came through on the broadcast.
Were they serious?
Uh, yeh.
Bill Elliott got upside down in the first race.
When the green flag dropped, all the drivers wanted to do was WIN!!
The most refreshing thing of the broadcast was the free-wheeling of the broadcasters of Mike Joy, Kyle Petty and "Jaws" Darrell Waltrip.
By being a non-Nascar event and the lack of what-you-can-say and cannot-say, it was great tv.
When was the last time you heard "Winston Cup" mentioned on a Nascar broadcast?
I lost track last night.
It was like they had no rules.
I have never laughed during a Nascar broadcast.
Last night, I laughed numerous times.
The announcers had fun.
And so did I.

Once A Meathead.........

Once a meathead, always a meathead.
http://www.nascar.com/2007/news/headlines/cup/06/04/tstewart.kbusch.dover.wreck/index.html
You can't change a leopards spots.
You can pin your ears back, but your still a Dumbo.
He's a hothead.
He's a punk.
He's a smart ass.
Where's Jimmy "Mr. Excitement" Spencer to punch him in the nose again?
I have seen him twice be rude to TV reporters when he thought they were off the air. The latest was at the World 600 (I know), when he told pit reporter Shannon Spake to "speak up". I can never hear you, you need to get better.
The first was when Dave Burns asked him a controversial question at Chicagoland Speedway.
Thinking he was off the air Kurt turned to walk away, then walked back said "What the hell you asking me that for?"
He needs to be knocked down a peg....or two.
It is interesting, that the Busch Brothers dad, Tom Busch spots for another driver, Johnny Sauter.
Don't believe me, check the link below.
http://www.jayski.com/pages/pitcrew-chart2007.htm
Wonder why he's not spotting for one of his kids?
Sorry, blue deuce fans, your driver's a meathead.
Will Nascar have the balls, to park him?

Will The REAL Superman Please Stand Up?

Will the REAL Superman please stand up?
No, not that Superman.
I'm talking Superman ice cream.
Well, it used to be called Superman.
But the silk-suited lawyers from Marvel Comics put the screws to the small ice cream dairy and made them change the name to "SuperScoop".
Yet, in every scoop shop I have been, it's still called "Superman".
OK, I admit it, I like Superman ice cream.
No, I like Hudsonville Superman Ice Cream.
Maybe I need to join SA - "Superman Anonymous"
Hi, my name is Schmoe, and I have a Superman Addiction
http://www.hudsonvilleicecream.com/index.asp
And I know the difference when some seedy scoop shop tries to slide an inferior Superman-like product on me.
It happened a few years ago at a scoop shop in Grand Haven.
I have not been back since and they won't get dime one from me, again.
It happened again this past Memorial Day.
The waffle cone double dip had just hit my hand, I took a lick and thought, "Mmmm, it's a little off".
When I looked in the ice cream freezer case at the 3 gallon container, my taste buds had not let me down again.
It did not say 'Hudsonville".
I was duped with a scoop again.
It JUST was not creamy like my regular Hudsonville.
I let it slide.
Not one to cause a scene.
I did the next best thing.
I turned them in to the Hudsonville Ice Cream cops at the corporate office.
If your advertising Hudsonville with the old-style red sign, you'd better be dipping only Hudsonville.
I have driven in, and out of scoop shops when they do not serve Hudsonviile ice cream.
Scoop shops have been put on alert.
Schmoe is on Patrol.
Another thing I have learned with Superman ice cream, it's best in a cone.
Not in a bowl.
Cause when it melts, not so good.
Best hand-dipped on a waffle cone and enjoyed to the fullest extent.
You don't mess with a man's ice cream.
Having just turned 40, maybe I'm just edgy.

Junior Owns 30% of Nascar's Bobbles & Trinkets

http://www.thatsracin.com/242/story/4598.html

Is the Red Nation still buying the 8 apparel?

You bet they are according to article above.

Dale Jr. sells 30% of all Nascar souvenirs.

Which equates to about $10 million.

Easy money.

Jeff Gordon and Tony Stewart come in 2nd and 3rd with a paltry 15% of sales.

Only a measly $5 million.

Barely enough to cover a tank of gas these days.

F***ing Jonsie

Ernie Harwell said last week as he was filling in for Rod Allen, he nicknamed Todd Jones, the Tigers closer "Rollercoaster".
I like F****ing loser better.
I admit I'm no baseball manager, but that bullpen is paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaathetic.
Four pitchers in the 8th, for a loss.
Why??
C'mon skip, let the starters go all 9 innings.
That bullpen ain't saving your ass.
You think gangsta Rodney is the answer when he's healthy?
I knew there was a reason I gave up on baseball, in the late 80's.
And went to a real sport..................Nascar.

0-11

0-11
Mikey is a big "Ofer" for the past 11 cup races and he has a wrecked race car to boot.
Well, actually two.
Both he and Root wrecked on their qualifying laps.
http://www.nascar.com/2007/news/headlines/cup/05/24/mwaltrip.tnorris.lowes/index.html
Do you notice when that happens, it is one of the few times that DW is speechless?

A couple of good reads:
Movers and shakers in Nascar
http://www.thatsracin.com/247/story/4446.html
I'm disappointed that Schmoe did not make the list.

Nascar Lawyer
http://www.thatsracin.com/228/story/4447.html
Great article by David Poole
A Schmoe favorite

The secret why Hendrick is so good with the COT, Their testing and Roush is not happy
http://www.journalnow.com/servlet/Satellite?pagename=WSJ%2FMGArticle%2FWSJ_BasicArticle&c=MGArticle&cid=1173351341627&path=%21sports&s=1037645509200

Thugs At MWR Back In The News

Who is doing the hiring at Michael Waltrip Racing (MWR)?
Another employee of Mikey's got popped by Nascar with another "indefinite" suspension.
The infraction this time?
Forging a Nascar annual credential.

Penalty Issued for Unauthorized Duplication of a NASCAR Annual Credential: NASCAR announced today that Douglas Mercier [#00 Hauler Driver] has been fined $5,000 and suspended indefinitely from the sport for his unauthorized duplication of a NASCAR annual credential. The rule infraction occurred May 18 at Lowe’s Motor Speedway. Mercier violated Section 12-4-A (actions detrimental to stock car racing; unauthorized duplication of a NASCAR annual credential) of the 2007 NASCAR rule book.(NASCAR PR)(5-24-2007)

Solid.
Class act.
Your sponsors must be proud Mikey.

The Mikey Qualifying Countdown Watch:
0-10
Mikey hasn't qualified for the past 10 races.

Tigers Bullpen Missing:
There is an Amber Alert for the Detroit Tiger bullpen.
They are missing.
If anyone sees them, please contact the front office at the Copa.
There is no way we are playoff contenders with this rag tag bunch.
Our "Ace", Jonsie is a solid 39 years young, and is not happy unless he's putting men on and making things interesting.
His heir apparent, Zumaya; hit the DL last year with a sore wrist after playing too many guitar video games. I have never been impressed with Zumaya. Big deal he throws hard. How about throwing strikes? He loves to tell how he has flames tattooed on his throwing arm. How about a strike zone?
Jose Mesa?
Yes, he makes a "Mesa" outta his appearance's, a solid 41 years young, a great acquisition by teh team. NOT!!!!
Don't forget about the "Gangsta Reliever", Fernando Rodney. The do-rag wearing, side-ways hat wearing reliever. If he don't get you out (which is the norm), he may just "cap" your ass after the game.
The other threats we have to rely on are Grilli, Ledezma and De La Cruz.
Who?
Look for a trade at mid-summer.
PRAY for a trade at mid-summer.
The one bright spot has been Tim Byrdak.

Indefinite

Indefinite.
I looked it up.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/indefinite
in·def·i·nite /ɪnˈdɛfənɪt/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[in-def-uh-nit] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–adjective
1.
not definite; without fixed or specified limit; unlimited: an indefinite number.
2.
not clearly defined or determined; not precise or exact: an indefinite boundary; an indefinite date in the future.
3.
Grammar.

In the world according to Nascar?
About 6 months.
Remember the whole Mikey Waltrip Sterno/jet fuel controversy from Daytona, and the "indefinite" suspensions for his two crew members.
Well the jail sentence is up May 30
http://sports.espn.go.com/rpm/news/story?seriesId=2&id=2875393
My theory?
Nascar let Michael try to race his way in through the Twin 150's (yeh, I know!), which he did.
But esplained to him, he would not "qualify" for another race until after May 30.
Kind of a hush-hush, quasi-suspension, wink-wink, kinda deal.
You watch. Mikey won't qualify for the World 600 (yeh, I know!)
But come the next race at Dover.
Ta-da, he'll be fast and in the show.

The Fix Was on.

Yes, Kenny Wallace is a nice guy and he is entertaining.
But, No he is not the most talented driver in the world.
If you don't think NASCAR dictates the rules, outcomes and plays favorites; explain this.
There is a fan vote to vote one driver in for the Winston Open (yeh, I know!) and Kenny Wallace had a "campaign" see his website below to get in.
http://voteinkenny.com/
How convenient, it is that Kenny is on the Speed channel and could use that network for a month to "campaign" to get into the "The Winston" (yeh, I know!).
Speed even used Kenny in the TV ads to promote "The Winston", the only non-winner and non-guaranteed driver they had in the commercial.
And what a shock....he was the top vote getter.
Kenny finished a stout 16th of 21 cars.
Last car running on the lead lap.
And he won $83,985, what a gift.
What a crock!
That's a great gift.
With the extra coin, I wonder if he's giving discounts on his book
http://www.kennywallace.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=638&Itemid=2

The Best Present For A 13 Year Old

Cliff said, "Do you want to go the Indy 5oo?"

If your a 13 year old race fan, those words were music to my ears.

That was May 1980.

Still, 27 years later, I can picture everything about that day when I heard those beautiful words.

The Indy 500 in 1980 was still THE race.

It was the "Greatest Spectacle In Racing"

It was tape delayed on ABC, but aired live on the radio.

Pole day meant something.

Bump Day meant something.

It consumed the whole month of May.

It was something I always looked forward too.

I loved listening to that race on the radio.

The corner reporters.

The 10 lap rundowns.

The roar of the cars coming down the front stretch.

When the tape delayed broadcast would start, I would watch that too.

I already knew who'd won.

I didn't care.

I didn't have school the next day.

It was a Memorial Day weekend tradition for me.

"Do you want to go to the Indy 500?"

I didn't have to ask, I don't think I had to beg.

When I turned to get approval from my Mom & Dad, the look on my face must have said it all.

"If that is what you want for your 13th birthday, you can go"

Cliff was a huge open wheel fan and life long ticket holder at Indianapolis 500.

I'll never forget walking into the track for the first time.

The sites.

The sounds.

The smells.

The history.

It gave me chills then, it gives me chills today thinking about it.

I remember all the pageantry before the race.

I remember the legendary track announcer Tom Carnegie.

The cars all gridded on the track.

33 of the sleekest, coolest machines, I had ever seen.

The Purdue Marching Band.

Jim Nabors singing "Back Home Again in Indiana"

The release of the balloons at the drop of the green flag.

200,000 people at the "Greatest Spectacle In Racing".

Johnny Rutherford won in "Yellow Submarine" Pennzoil Penske car.

Rookie of the race, Tim Richmond; ran out of gas right in front of us at the end of the race.

Rutherford on his cool down lap, picked him up and gave him a ride into the pits on the side pod of his car.

A baseball glove, a game, a book.

Those presents would have broke, lost or sold at a yard sale.

But my 1980 Indy 500 memories?

The best present a 13 year old ever had.

It is an American tragedy, the Indy 500 has been decimated to just another race.

When it used to be THE race.

There is not a Memorial Day that goes by that I don't think of my Indy 500 in 1980.

Since Cliff is no longer with us, I think of him too.

And those words.

"Do you want to go to the Indy 500?"

Michael Waltrip Raceworld - A Nascar Disneyland?

Michael Waltrip Racing is opening Raceworld, May 16.http://www.michaelwaltrip.com/SportSelect.dbml?DB_OEM_ID=16600&KEY=&SPID=10177&SPSID=86436

It's gonna be like a Disneyland for Michael Waltrip fans.

Some of the featured attractions are:

It's A Small World - (when your upside down in an overturned SUV after "allegedly" falling asleep)

Goofy's Playhouse - An inside look at the inner-workings of Michael Waltrip Racing

Splash Mountain - Fuel additives 101

Chip-n-Dale's Treehouse, sponsored by Kleenex - Spend a Sunday afternoon with Chip and Dale Jarrett, watching the Cup race, which Dale did not qualify for.

Goofy, Pluto and Pals - question and answer period with Michael Waltrip, Bobby Kennedy and David Hyder.

Pinocchio's Daring Journey - A short film on Mikey during Daytona Speedweeks.

Plan your vacation now.

Who Am I? - Mike Lichty - Penalties Announced, Survey Says....

The penalties were handed down for #23 truck team driven by Johnny Benson and Mike Lichty.
http://www.thatsracin.com/242/story/4269.html
The team was fined $10,000
The team was docked 50 points
The crew chief was suspended for two races.
I'm confused.
Let's break these penalties down.
$10,000????? that's $10 bucks to you and me, big frickin deal.
Ooooooh, that'll hurt.
The 50 points dropped JB from 7th in points to a tie for 8th.
http://www.nascar.com/2007/news/headlines/truck/05/15/jbenson.tbruce.penalties/index.html
My question is why dock points for a "non-points" event.
Crew chief is suspended for two races.
Why?
See the picture above with the smiling guy next to the supermod, that's not Trip Bruce, it's JB. He is the friend of Mike Lichty, who's supermod he drove last year and is expected to drive again this year.
Why not suspend JB for two races.
Yes, the crew chief knew the "switcheroo" was on, he was an accomplice.
It is high time that Nascar starts sitting out drivers.
They have done it before when they parked Kevin Harvick for an incident in a truck race at Martinsville, but suspended him from a cup race.
http://www.nascar.com/2002/news/headlines/wc/04/14/harvick_suspended/index.html
Teams, owners and drivers have not got the message on breaking rules.
The fines are no big deal, they all have deeeeeeeeeeeep pockets.
The fines are chump change.
Want to send a message?
Park Benson for 2 races.
The "infamous" Michael Waltrip jet fuel/kerosene/additive incident from Daytona, they should have parked Mikey for a few races.
Wait, he's parked himself for past 9 races, bad example.
It is way too easy for a driver to say, "Hey, I'm just the driver", I didn't know they had a illegal hubs on the car (Ray Evernham).
You start parking drivers, NOW they won't be JUST a driver.
They might have a little more interest in what Bubba at the shop is doing with that jug marked "XXX" dumping it into the fuel cell.

What To Read

Some of the racing websites to check out:
Jayski - the best and original "rumor mill" that Jayski started when his favorite driver Lake "I've got no" Speed got cut lose. With no place to find info on the net, he started the "silly season site". Still the best.
http://www.jayski.com/

From the Charlotte Observer
http://www.thatsracin.com/mld/thatsracin/
David Poole and the gang are on top of the big stories that roll out of Charlotte. Like the Michael "Hey, I was sleeping, not drinking, when I rolled the SUV" Waltrip story broke.

http://www.nascar.com/
Of course, if you want the "pc" point of view that's churning out of Daytona Beach. The "Where are they now segment is good"
Where is Lake speed?
http://www.nascar.com/2007/news/features/05/10/where.is.lake.speed/index.html
The 1o Questions with.......is good too
http://www.nascar.com/2007/news/features/05/15/almirola.10.questions/index.html

For you sprint car fans the place to go is:
http://www.tjslideways.com/index.php

For short track racing
http://www.speed51.com/

My local track, Berlin Raceway keeps us up to date here:
http://www.berlinraceway.com/home.shtml

My fellow blogger, race fan and fellow FART owner is a good read at:
http://forums.detnews.com/racing/index.cfm?bloggerid=192

What is FART?
Stay tuned, we'll enlighten you in the future.
It is a riveting story that will have you coming back for more.
I promise.

Who Am I? - Mike Lichty

Mike Lichty.
Who?
You know Mikey, he of supermod fame, car #84.
http://www.ismasupers.com/Roster%20Pages/84-Lichty.htm
How did he get in the #23 Johnny Benson truck?
Well, he and JB are friends.
JB drove his supermod last year at Berlin in a team car #74
http://www.ismasupers.com/Results_&_Photos_2006/15-BERLIN-9-20-06/CANDIDS/800-ISMA-Berlin_9787.jpg
This must have been one of those "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours" deals.
Regardless, of what the PR spin is, this was no "miscommunication"
This was not an "oversight" on an unlicensed driver
This was no "boat accident"
I bet Lichty doesn't even have a Busch East license
This is the worst example I have seen of someone using "poor judgement" in a long time.
To get ejected from a test is bad.
How does the car owner, Bill Davis feel?
http://www.thatsracin.com/242/story/4203.html
Bill's not happy.
Nascar wasn't impressed either.
Penalties shall be forthcoming.
So how was Mike in practice?
He was in #23B, ran a total of 4 laps before he dumped it.
His times are here, 46th fastest, JB was 22nd fastest in the #23A
http://www.truckseries.com/cgi-script/NCTS_07/articles/000109/010975.htm
and the picture of the truck
http://www.lowesmotorspeedway.com/images/gallery/0711HH8720bg.jpg
Next time your in Charlotte make sure you sign up for the "JB I'll Drive Yours, You Drive Mine, But Don't Tell The Boss Driving Experience"

Schmoenac

Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny and The Tooth Fairy

Name 3 people who have more Nascar Nextel Cups than Michael Waltrip

***************************************************

Mow the lawn, play catch with Zachary, shoot hoops with Karsyn

Name 3 things Dale Jarrett can do instead of racing at Darlington.

Who Am I?

http://www.thatsracin.com/242/story/4169.html
Local favorite Johnny Benson's #23 truck team was thrown out from the test at Charlotte last night and was banned from Friday's test as well.
Why?
Well, the truck crashed and when they went to get the driver out, it wasn't JB.
It was an "unlicensed driver".
This was noticed as they wheeled "Crasher X" into the infield care center for the mandatory checkup.
This is a big no-no in Nascar.
All drivers on track must be approved and licensed to compete in Nascar.
Who was the Einstein that dreamed this up?
Maybe it went down like this:
Team - "JB we gotta test at Charlotte"
JB - "I'm busy building a late model for Berlin"
Team (to that homeless guy at the off ramp with the sign that says "Will Work for Food") "Hey scruffy, you busy Thursday night? We'll buy you 5 Value Meals at McDonald's"
Can't wait to find the identity of "Crasher X"

Open the checkbook, ca-ching!

Little E is moving out.
http://www.nascar.com/2007/news/headlines/cup/05/10/dearnhardtjr.leaving.dei/index.html
I am a believer that without an "Earnhardt" at DEI, it is just a big fancy museum.
Rumors have had John Menard of Menard's fame buying or buying into DEI for a few years. John is father to DEI driver, Paul Menard.
John's got that kind of cash.
You may "save more money at Menard's", but John's not going hungry.
http://www.menards.com/
Little E is a free agent.
Where's he gonna go?
Says he wants to stay in a Chevy.
I don't think his decision is about HIS paycheck.
Money yes.
Money to fund a team.
Money for engineering, R&D and the infrastructure that other successful teams have.
That is what DEI is lacking.
Let's see.....
Ford teams are out.
Toyota???
It would be smart from Toyota, but remember Junior wants to win. Toyota can hardly make races.
Hendrick has 4 drivers.
Nascar is limiting owners to 4 teams.
Is Hendrick gonna fire.....
Gordon? Paaalease.
Jimmie? uh-uh
Kyle Busch? Needs some maturing but nope, wouldn't be prudent.
Casey Mears? Well, he just signed a long term deal........but......
The #25 hasn't done squat since Tim Richmond left.
Hey, the #25 did used to be sponsored by Budweiser.
DEI owns the #8
Think Theresa is gonna let that go?
Gibbs???
I just don't see it.
Just because he's a Washington Redskins fan, doesn't mean he could work for the coach.
Childress has only 3 drivers.
He has room for one more.
Gee, I wonder who it could be?
His teams are back running well.
Junior brings sponsors and fans, lots of them. Like half the stands at Talladega.
RCR is the logical choice.
It is the right choice.
Make no mistake, if Big E were still around, Junior wouldn't be leaving.
Because, he wouldn't have let DEI get to the point it is now, where they out-engineered, out-worked and out-spent.

Richmond Post Race

Richmond-The race was rained out Sat. night and they raced Sunday afternoon. The Jimmie Johnson/Hendrick Motor sports express keeps rolling, Jimmie "Where's My" Johnson, won his 4th race of the year in the "New" car.
Can Jimmie win a race without doing a tribute?
Look the deal at Va Tech was bad.
We KNOW that.
We GET that.
WE GRIEVE for them.
Seems Jimmie is winning races and it's always a tribute and done in the memory of someone or something.
It was Ricky's birthday.
A wind gust blew over someones home in Kentucky.
It was 1 year ago Ricky died.
His hamster is sick.
His motor coach's driver's sisters, garbage man's nieces uncle had a colonoscapy and they thought they saw "something".

Raines-Nice to see my favorite cup driver Floyd Anthony "Tony" Raines,
http://www.tonyraines.com/
lead a lap at Richmond, way cool. Off to Darlington this Saturday night for the cup race.

Oops car-.. Dale Jarrett failed to qualify, ending a streak of 424 consecutive races that dated to North Wilkesboro on Oct. 2, 1994.(NASCAR PR)(5-4-2007)
http://www.jayski.com/stats/2007/grids/2007rir1-grid.htm
I have zero sympathy for Dale, Mikey, UPS, NAPA or Toyota; they all KNEW what they were getting into when they started the season, so any yapping about changing the qualifying rules fugettaboudit.
The reason Mikey hired DJ was he came with 6 past (emphasis on past) champion provisionals and he cashed those in for the first 9 races.
Too bad, too sad.
If they want to change the rules, do it after the end of the season.
I am not a fan of the provisional's.
I would rather see the fastest 43 race, load the rest up.
I realize that is a hard line stance and a guy like Jeff Gordon could have a mechanical issue on his qualifying lap and load it up.
So.....
Start the fastest 40, and have a 25 lap last chance race and take the top 3 finsihers.
Now that would be cool.
With Jarrett sitting home at least we don't have to listen how all the kids are doing in the athletic and academic achievement's.

Michigan-Local racing
Bad weekend as two separate Michigan tracks had fatalities.
Scott Seaton
http://abclocal.go.com/wjrt/story?section=local&id=5279243
Stan Perry
http://www.kpcnews.com/articles/2007/05/07/sports/doc463f1bf700d1a831037662.txt
Godspeed Scott and Stan.