Will The REAL Superman Please Stand Up?

Will the REAL Superman please stand up?
No, not that Superman.
I'm talking Superman ice cream.
Well, it used to be called Superman.
But the silk-suited lawyers from Marvel Comics put the screws to the small ice cream dairy and made them change the name to "SuperScoop".
Yet, in every scoop shop I have been, it's still called "Superman".
OK, I admit it, I like Superman ice cream.
No, I like Hudsonville Superman Ice Cream.
Maybe I need to join SA - "Superman Anonymous"
Hi, my name is Schmoe, and I have a Superman Addiction
http://www.hudsonvilleicecream.com/index.asp
And I know the difference when some seedy scoop shop tries to slide an inferior Superman-like product on me.
It happened a few years ago at a scoop shop in Grand Haven.
I have not been back since and they won't get dime one from me, again.
It happened again this past Memorial Day.
The waffle cone double dip had just hit my hand, I took a lick and thought, "Mmmm, it's a little off".
When I looked in the ice cream freezer case at the 3 gallon container, my taste buds had not let me down again.
It did not say 'Hudsonville".
I was duped with a scoop again.
It JUST was not creamy like my regular Hudsonville.
I let it slide.
Not one to cause a scene.
I did the next best thing.
I turned them in to the Hudsonville Ice Cream cops at the corporate office.
If your advertising Hudsonville with the old-style red sign, you'd better be dipping only Hudsonville.
I have driven in, and out of scoop shops when they do not serve Hudsonviile ice cream.
Scoop shops have been put on alert.
Schmoe is on Patrol.
Another thing I have learned with Superman ice cream, it's best in a cone.
Not in a bowl.
Cause when it melts, not so good.
Best hand-dipped on a waffle cone and enjoyed to the fullest extent.
You don't mess with a man's ice cream.
Having just turned 40, maybe I'm just edgy.

Junior Owns 30% of Nascar's Bobbles & Trinkets

http://www.thatsracin.com/242/story/4598.html

Is the Red Nation still buying the 8 apparel?

You bet they are according to article above.

Dale Jr. sells 30% of all Nascar souvenirs.

Which equates to about $10 million.

Easy money.

Jeff Gordon and Tony Stewart come in 2nd and 3rd with a paltry 15% of sales.

Only a measly $5 million.

Barely enough to cover a tank of gas these days.

F***ing Jonsie

Ernie Harwell said last week as he was filling in for Rod Allen, he nicknamed Todd Jones, the Tigers closer "Rollercoaster".
I like F****ing loser better.
I admit I'm no baseball manager, but that bullpen is paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaathetic.
Four pitchers in the 8th, for a loss.
Why??
C'mon skip, let the starters go all 9 innings.
That bullpen ain't saving your ass.
You think gangsta Rodney is the answer when he's healthy?
I knew there was a reason I gave up on baseball, in the late 80's.
And went to a real sport..................Nascar.

0-11

0-11
Mikey is a big "Ofer" for the past 11 cup races and he has a wrecked race car to boot.
Well, actually two.
Both he and Root wrecked on their qualifying laps.
http://www.nascar.com/2007/news/headlines/cup/05/24/mwaltrip.tnorris.lowes/index.html
Do you notice when that happens, it is one of the few times that DW is speechless?

A couple of good reads:
Movers and shakers in Nascar
http://www.thatsracin.com/247/story/4446.html
I'm disappointed that Schmoe did not make the list.

Nascar Lawyer
http://www.thatsracin.com/228/story/4447.html
Great article by David Poole
A Schmoe favorite

The secret why Hendrick is so good with the COT, Their testing and Roush is not happy
http://www.journalnow.com/servlet/Satellite?pagename=WSJ%2FMGArticle%2FWSJ_BasicArticle&c=MGArticle&cid=1173351341627&path=%21sports&s=1037645509200

Thugs At MWR Back In The News

Who is doing the hiring at Michael Waltrip Racing (MWR)?
Another employee of Mikey's got popped by Nascar with another "indefinite" suspension.
The infraction this time?
Forging a Nascar annual credential.

Penalty Issued for Unauthorized Duplication of a NASCAR Annual Credential: NASCAR announced today that Douglas Mercier [#00 Hauler Driver] has been fined $5,000 and suspended indefinitely from the sport for his unauthorized duplication of a NASCAR annual credential. The rule infraction occurred May 18 at Lowe’s Motor Speedway. Mercier violated Section 12-4-A (actions detrimental to stock car racing; unauthorized duplication of a NASCAR annual credential) of the 2007 NASCAR rule book.(NASCAR PR)(5-24-2007)

Solid.
Class act.
Your sponsors must be proud Mikey.

The Mikey Qualifying Countdown Watch:
0-10
Mikey hasn't qualified for the past 10 races.

Tigers Bullpen Missing:
There is an Amber Alert for the Detroit Tiger bullpen.
They are missing.
If anyone sees them, please contact the front office at the Copa.
There is no way we are playoff contenders with this rag tag bunch.
Our "Ace", Jonsie is a solid 39 years young, and is not happy unless he's putting men on and making things interesting.
His heir apparent, Zumaya; hit the DL last year with a sore wrist after playing too many guitar video games. I have never been impressed with Zumaya. Big deal he throws hard. How about throwing strikes? He loves to tell how he has flames tattooed on his throwing arm. How about a strike zone?
Jose Mesa?
Yes, he makes a "Mesa" outta his appearance's, a solid 41 years young, a great acquisition by teh team. NOT!!!!
Don't forget about the "Gangsta Reliever", Fernando Rodney. The do-rag wearing, side-ways hat wearing reliever. If he don't get you out (which is the norm), he may just "cap" your ass after the game.
The other threats we have to rely on are Grilli, Ledezma and De La Cruz.
Who?
Look for a trade at mid-summer.
PRAY for a trade at mid-summer.
The one bright spot has been Tim Byrdak.

Indefinite

Indefinite.
I looked it up.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/indefinite
in·def·i·nite /ɪnˈdɛfənɪt/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[in-def-uh-nit] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–adjective
1.
not definite; without fixed or specified limit; unlimited: an indefinite number.
2.
not clearly defined or determined; not precise or exact: an indefinite boundary; an indefinite date in the future.
3.
Grammar.

In the world according to Nascar?
About 6 months.
Remember the whole Mikey Waltrip Sterno/jet fuel controversy from Daytona, and the "indefinite" suspensions for his two crew members.
Well the jail sentence is up May 30
http://sports.espn.go.com/rpm/news/story?seriesId=2&id=2875393
My theory?
Nascar let Michael try to race his way in through the Twin 150's (yeh, I know!), which he did.
But esplained to him, he would not "qualify" for another race until after May 30.
Kind of a hush-hush, quasi-suspension, wink-wink, kinda deal.
You watch. Mikey won't qualify for the World 600 (yeh, I know!)
But come the next race at Dover.
Ta-da, he'll be fast and in the show.

The Fix Was on.

Yes, Kenny Wallace is a nice guy and he is entertaining.
But, No he is not the most talented driver in the world.
If you don't think NASCAR dictates the rules, outcomes and plays favorites; explain this.
There is a fan vote to vote one driver in for the Winston Open (yeh, I know!) and Kenny Wallace had a "campaign" see his website below to get in.
http://voteinkenny.com/
How convenient, it is that Kenny is on the Speed channel and could use that network for a month to "campaign" to get into the "The Winston" (yeh, I know!).
Speed even used Kenny in the TV ads to promote "The Winston", the only non-winner and non-guaranteed driver they had in the commercial.
And what a shock....he was the top vote getter.
Kenny finished a stout 16th of 21 cars.
Last car running on the lead lap.
And he won $83,985, what a gift.
What a crock!
That's a great gift.
With the extra coin, I wonder if he's giving discounts on his book
http://www.kennywallace.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=638&Itemid=2

The Best Present For A 13 Year Old

Cliff said, "Do you want to go the Indy 5oo?"

If your a 13 year old race fan, those words were music to my ears.

That was May 1980.

Still, 27 years later, I can picture everything about that day when I heard those beautiful words.

The Indy 500 in 1980 was still THE race.

It was the "Greatest Spectacle In Racing"

It was tape delayed on ABC, but aired live on the radio.

Pole day meant something.

Bump Day meant something.

It consumed the whole month of May.

It was something I always looked forward too.

I loved listening to that race on the radio.

The corner reporters.

The 10 lap rundowns.

The roar of the cars coming down the front stretch.

When the tape delayed broadcast would start, I would watch that too.

I already knew who'd won.

I didn't care.

I didn't have school the next day.

It was a Memorial Day weekend tradition for me.

"Do you want to go to the Indy 500?"

I didn't have to ask, I don't think I had to beg.

When I turned to get approval from my Mom & Dad, the look on my face must have said it all.

"If that is what you want for your 13th birthday, you can go"

Cliff was a huge open wheel fan and life long ticket holder at Indianapolis 500.

I'll never forget walking into the track for the first time.

The sites.

The sounds.

The smells.

The history.

It gave me chills then, it gives me chills today thinking about it.

I remember all the pageantry before the race.

I remember the legendary track announcer Tom Carnegie.

The cars all gridded on the track.

33 of the sleekest, coolest machines, I had ever seen.

The Purdue Marching Band.

Jim Nabors singing "Back Home Again in Indiana"

The release of the balloons at the drop of the green flag.

200,000 people at the "Greatest Spectacle In Racing".

Johnny Rutherford won in "Yellow Submarine" Pennzoil Penske car.

Rookie of the race, Tim Richmond; ran out of gas right in front of us at the end of the race.

Rutherford on his cool down lap, picked him up and gave him a ride into the pits on the side pod of his car.

A baseball glove, a game, a book.

Those presents would have broke, lost or sold at a yard sale.

But my 1980 Indy 500 memories?

The best present a 13 year old ever had.

It is an American tragedy, the Indy 500 has been decimated to just another race.

When it used to be THE race.

There is not a Memorial Day that goes by that I don't think of my Indy 500 in 1980.

Since Cliff is no longer with us, I think of him too.

And those words.

"Do you want to go to the Indy 500?"

Michael Waltrip Raceworld - A Nascar Disneyland?

Michael Waltrip Racing is opening Raceworld, May 16.http://www.michaelwaltrip.com/SportSelect.dbml?DB_OEM_ID=16600&KEY=&SPID=10177&SPSID=86436

It's gonna be like a Disneyland for Michael Waltrip fans.

Some of the featured attractions are:

It's A Small World - (when your upside down in an overturned SUV after "allegedly" falling asleep)

Goofy's Playhouse - An inside look at the inner-workings of Michael Waltrip Racing

Splash Mountain - Fuel additives 101

Chip-n-Dale's Treehouse, sponsored by Kleenex - Spend a Sunday afternoon with Chip and Dale Jarrett, watching the Cup race, which Dale did not qualify for.

Goofy, Pluto and Pals - question and answer period with Michael Waltrip, Bobby Kennedy and David Hyder.

Pinocchio's Daring Journey - A short film on Mikey during Daytona Speedweeks.

Plan your vacation now.

Who Am I? - Mike Lichty - Penalties Announced, Survey Says....

The penalties were handed down for #23 truck team driven by Johnny Benson and Mike Lichty.
http://www.thatsracin.com/242/story/4269.html
The team was fined $10,000
The team was docked 50 points
The crew chief was suspended for two races.
I'm confused.
Let's break these penalties down.
$10,000????? that's $10 bucks to you and me, big frickin deal.
Ooooooh, that'll hurt.
The 50 points dropped JB from 7th in points to a tie for 8th.
http://www.nascar.com/2007/news/headlines/truck/05/15/jbenson.tbruce.penalties/index.html
My question is why dock points for a "non-points" event.
Crew chief is suspended for two races.
Why?
See the picture above with the smiling guy next to the supermod, that's not Trip Bruce, it's JB. He is the friend of Mike Lichty, who's supermod he drove last year and is expected to drive again this year.
Why not suspend JB for two races.
Yes, the crew chief knew the "switcheroo" was on, he was an accomplice.
It is high time that Nascar starts sitting out drivers.
They have done it before when they parked Kevin Harvick for an incident in a truck race at Martinsville, but suspended him from a cup race.
http://www.nascar.com/2002/news/headlines/wc/04/14/harvick_suspended/index.html
Teams, owners and drivers have not got the message on breaking rules.
The fines are no big deal, they all have deeeeeeeeeeeep pockets.
The fines are chump change.
Want to send a message?
Park Benson for 2 races.
The "infamous" Michael Waltrip jet fuel/kerosene/additive incident from Daytona, they should have parked Mikey for a few races.
Wait, he's parked himself for past 9 races, bad example.
It is way too easy for a driver to say, "Hey, I'm just the driver", I didn't know they had a illegal hubs on the car (Ray Evernham).
You start parking drivers, NOW they won't be JUST a driver.
They might have a little more interest in what Bubba at the shop is doing with that jug marked "XXX" dumping it into the fuel cell.

What To Read

Some of the racing websites to check out:
Jayski - the best and original "rumor mill" that Jayski started when his favorite driver Lake "I've got no" Speed got cut lose. With no place to find info on the net, he started the "silly season site". Still the best.
http://www.jayski.com/

From the Charlotte Observer
http://www.thatsracin.com/mld/thatsracin/
David Poole and the gang are on top of the big stories that roll out of Charlotte. Like the Michael "Hey, I was sleeping, not drinking, when I rolled the SUV" Waltrip story broke.

http://www.nascar.com/
Of course, if you want the "pc" point of view that's churning out of Daytona Beach. The "Where are they now segment is good"
Where is Lake speed?
http://www.nascar.com/2007/news/features/05/10/where.is.lake.speed/index.html
The 1o Questions with.......is good too
http://www.nascar.com/2007/news/features/05/15/almirola.10.questions/index.html

For you sprint car fans the place to go is:
http://www.tjslideways.com/index.php

For short track racing
http://www.speed51.com/

My local track, Berlin Raceway keeps us up to date here:
http://www.berlinraceway.com/home.shtml

My fellow blogger, race fan and fellow FART owner is a good read at:
http://forums.detnews.com/racing/index.cfm?bloggerid=192

What is FART?
Stay tuned, we'll enlighten you in the future.
It is a riveting story that will have you coming back for more.
I promise.

Who Am I? - Mike Lichty

Mike Lichty.
Who?
You know Mikey, he of supermod fame, car #84.
http://www.ismasupers.com/Roster%20Pages/84-Lichty.htm
How did he get in the #23 Johnny Benson truck?
Well, he and JB are friends.
JB drove his supermod last year at Berlin in a team car #74
http://www.ismasupers.com/Results_&_Photos_2006/15-BERLIN-9-20-06/CANDIDS/800-ISMA-Berlin_9787.jpg
This must have been one of those "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours" deals.
Regardless, of what the PR spin is, this was no "miscommunication"
This was not an "oversight" on an unlicensed driver
This was no "boat accident"
I bet Lichty doesn't even have a Busch East license
This is the worst example I have seen of someone using "poor judgement" in a long time.
To get ejected from a test is bad.
How does the car owner, Bill Davis feel?
http://www.thatsracin.com/242/story/4203.html
Bill's not happy.
Nascar wasn't impressed either.
Penalties shall be forthcoming.
So how was Mike in practice?
He was in #23B, ran a total of 4 laps before he dumped it.
His times are here, 46th fastest, JB was 22nd fastest in the #23A
http://www.truckseries.com/cgi-script/NCTS_07/articles/000109/010975.htm
and the picture of the truck
http://www.lowesmotorspeedway.com/images/gallery/0711HH8720bg.jpg
Next time your in Charlotte make sure you sign up for the "JB I'll Drive Yours, You Drive Mine, But Don't Tell The Boss Driving Experience"

Schmoenac

Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny and The Tooth Fairy

Name 3 people who have more Nascar Nextel Cups than Michael Waltrip

***************************************************

Mow the lawn, play catch with Zachary, shoot hoops with Karsyn

Name 3 things Dale Jarrett can do instead of racing at Darlington.

Who Am I?

http://www.thatsracin.com/242/story/4169.html
Local favorite Johnny Benson's #23 truck team was thrown out from the test at Charlotte last night and was banned from Friday's test as well.
Why?
Well, the truck crashed and when they went to get the driver out, it wasn't JB.
It was an "unlicensed driver".
This was noticed as they wheeled "Crasher X" into the infield care center for the mandatory checkup.
This is a big no-no in Nascar.
All drivers on track must be approved and licensed to compete in Nascar.
Who was the Einstein that dreamed this up?
Maybe it went down like this:
Team - "JB we gotta test at Charlotte"
JB - "I'm busy building a late model for Berlin"
Team (to that homeless guy at the off ramp with the sign that says "Will Work for Food") "Hey scruffy, you busy Thursday night? We'll buy you 5 Value Meals at McDonald's"
Can't wait to find the identity of "Crasher X"

Open the checkbook, ca-ching!

Little E is moving out.
http://www.nascar.com/2007/news/headlines/cup/05/10/dearnhardtjr.leaving.dei/index.html
I am a believer that without an "Earnhardt" at DEI, it is just a big fancy museum.
Rumors have had John Menard of Menard's fame buying or buying into DEI for a few years. John is father to DEI driver, Paul Menard.
John's got that kind of cash.
You may "save more money at Menard's", but John's not going hungry.
http://www.menards.com/
Little E is a free agent.
Where's he gonna go?
Says he wants to stay in a Chevy.
I don't think his decision is about HIS paycheck.
Money yes.
Money to fund a team.
Money for engineering, R&D and the infrastructure that other successful teams have.
That is what DEI is lacking.
Let's see.....
Ford teams are out.
Toyota???
It would be smart from Toyota, but remember Junior wants to win. Toyota can hardly make races.
Hendrick has 4 drivers.
Nascar is limiting owners to 4 teams.
Is Hendrick gonna fire.....
Gordon? Paaalease.
Jimmie? uh-uh
Kyle Busch? Needs some maturing but nope, wouldn't be prudent.
Casey Mears? Well, he just signed a long term deal........but......
The #25 hasn't done squat since Tim Richmond left.
Hey, the #25 did used to be sponsored by Budweiser.
DEI owns the #8
Think Theresa is gonna let that go?
Gibbs???
I just don't see it.
Just because he's a Washington Redskins fan, doesn't mean he could work for the coach.
Childress has only 3 drivers.
He has room for one more.
Gee, I wonder who it could be?
His teams are back running well.
Junior brings sponsors and fans, lots of them. Like half the stands at Talladega.
RCR is the logical choice.
It is the right choice.
Make no mistake, if Big E were still around, Junior wouldn't be leaving.
Because, he wouldn't have let DEI get to the point it is now, where they out-engineered, out-worked and out-spent.

Richmond Post Race

Richmond-The race was rained out Sat. night and they raced Sunday afternoon. The Jimmie Johnson/Hendrick Motor sports express keeps rolling, Jimmie "Where's My" Johnson, won his 4th race of the year in the "New" car.
Can Jimmie win a race without doing a tribute?
Look the deal at Va Tech was bad.
We KNOW that.
We GET that.
WE GRIEVE for them.
Seems Jimmie is winning races and it's always a tribute and done in the memory of someone or something.
It was Ricky's birthday.
A wind gust blew over someones home in Kentucky.
It was 1 year ago Ricky died.
His hamster is sick.
His motor coach's driver's sisters, garbage man's nieces uncle had a colonoscapy and they thought they saw "something".

Raines-Nice to see my favorite cup driver Floyd Anthony "Tony" Raines,
http://www.tonyraines.com/
lead a lap at Richmond, way cool. Off to Darlington this Saturday night for the cup race.

Oops car-.. Dale Jarrett failed to qualify, ending a streak of 424 consecutive races that dated to North Wilkesboro on Oct. 2, 1994.(NASCAR PR)(5-4-2007)
http://www.jayski.com/stats/2007/grids/2007rir1-grid.htm
I have zero sympathy for Dale, Mikey, UPS, NAPA or Toyota; they all KNEW what they were getting into when they started the season, so any yapping about changing the qualifying rules fugettaboudit.
The reason Mikey hired DJ was he came with 6 past (emphasis on past) champion provisionals and he cashed those in for the first 9 races.
Too bad, too sad.
If they want to change the rules, do it after the end of the season.
I am not a fan of the provisional's.
I would rather see the fastest 43 race, load the rest up.
I realize that is a hard line stance and a guy like Jeff Gordon could have a mechanical issue on his qualifying lap and load it up.
So.....
Start the fastest 40, and have a 25 lap last chance race and take the top 3 finsihers.
Now that would be cool.
With Jarrett sitting home at least we don't have to listen how all the kids are doing in the athletic and academic achievement's.

Michigan-Local racing
Bad weekend as two separate Michigan tracks had fatalities.
Scott Seaton
http://abclocal.go.com/wjrt/story?section=local&id=5279243
Stan Perry
http://www.kpcnews.com/articles/2007/05/07/sports/doc463f1bf700d1a831037662.txt
Godspeed Scott and Stan.

How much does a Cup driver make?

As a self proclaimed racing expert, people will ask, "How much does a cup driver make?"
Well here we go.
http://www.scenedaily.com/stories/2007/04/30/scene_daily329.html
Scott Wimmer is suing Bill Davis and we can see the figures in his contract.
Here is what we know.
His base salary was
2004 $600,000
2005 $900,000
2006 $1,200,000 (canned before the 06 season and that's why he is suing)
He received 45% of the race earnings
His earnings were:
http://racing-reference.info/driver?id=wimmesc01
2004 $3,675,879 45% is $1,654,145.50
2005 $3,682,979 45% is $1,657,340.50
So his total earnings were.
2004 $2,254145.50
2005 $2,557,340.50
My point?
Not too shabby for a driver with 105 career cup starts.
He has 1 top 5, and 3 top 1o's
If a tweener like Wimmer can make that kind of coin, guess what the boys like Gordon and Stewart make?
Remember Gordon's divorce?
It cost him half of his $84 million.
Oh, don't forget Wimmer also got 33.3% of all souvenir sales.
Which reminds me, I have yet to see ANYONE wearing a Scott Wimmer t-shirt.
My favorite Scott Wimmer story?
http://www.scenedaily.com/stories/2004/06/14/scene_circuit3.html?from_rss=1
Putz, don't hide under your bed.
At least Michael Waltrip learned from that mistake
http://www.thatsracin.com/107/story/3697.html

The Big Brown Truck Car, Runs LIke A Pile Of Sh**

Dale Jarrett
Nice guy.
Lousy driver.
He floundered around forever and didn't do squat until he got in GOOD equipment.
Some DRIVERS can CARRY a car.
What I mean, they can take a crappy car and bring it to the front, while some RIDERS cannot.
A perfect example, is Ernie Irvan.
Swervin could carry a car, get up on the wheel and drive.
A driver now, is David Reutiman.
Root, consistently puts the Michael Waltrip Racing (MWR) pile of crap into the show. He can CARRY the car. Mikey and DJ cannot.
Jarrett is now out of champion provisionals, he MUST qualify to get in.
Can you imagine if the Oops car loads up?
That will be the second cheer you here from me.
Go fast or go home.

Best Day Of The Week - Can Mikey Make The Race Day?

I love Fridays.
Not because it's the end of the week.
Because can Mikey make a cup race?
He has not raced in cup in 2 months.
My 1 1/2 year old daughter, Dani has more cup points than Mikey.
He has -27 and Dani has 0.
He took the big $$ from Toyota, got caught cheating at Daytona rolled his SUV at 2am (but hey I wasn't drinking).
It's the best time of the day to see this over-hyped, motor-mouth, Nascar shill sent home.
Practice starts at 11am, qualifying starts at 6pm.
The cheer you here, is me clapping when they load it up again.

hey Bubba, let's steal a race car....

http://www.thatsracin.com/242/story/4022.html
What Einstein steals a race car emblazoned with decals?
It won't "blend" in on the highway.
It has no muffler, so you can't "sneak" it up the driveway.
And, I think It'll stand out when it runs at the local dirt track.

My Campaign For Family Restrooms

FFFR (Fathers For Family Restrooms)
I am the founder and president.
Having two young daughters, I am alot more observant now than when I was swinging single.
Being a racefan, I thought I would take my 4 year old daughter, Lizzie; to our local race track, Berlin Raceway http://www.berlinraceway.com/home.shtml. They were having an on-track autograph session for the late models and her favrorite driver, Tom Thomas http://www.thomasmotorsports.com/ was racing.
So while mowing the lawn in the afternoon, as my mind wandered about the races, I had the brilliant idea to take Lizzie to the races.
So I run the idea by mom and Lizzie and we got two thumbs up.
Pack the cooler, cokes and juice boxes.
Jackets and blankets, and were off.
Now, I know going in there in NO family restrooms, so I'm going to "wing it".
And it happens.
"Daddy, I have to go potty"
And were off.
In the mens room we go.
Past the urinals and right to a stall.
No one else is there, except for an employee with his 2-way radio yapping in the background.
It's clean, no problem.
She does her duty.
As she is sitting there, I'm thinking, I might as go too as I'm right here.
I'm the king of "kill two birds with one stone" kind of guy.
So I have her stand behind me, while I go potty.
"Daddy why aren't you sitting down"
I ignore her. I don't know what to say.
"Daddy why are you standing"
Still thinking.....
I finally say, "Sometimes, Daddy don't need to sit down"
All the while she is asking the questions, she is trying to to look around me at what I'm doing.
We have not had the "talk" with her yet, she's 4.
No birds and bees.
Yes, she knows her opposites.
Just not opposites of boys and girls.
So, here I am, going potty running blocker so she can't see.
I eventually fail.
"Daddy, what's that on your butt?"
Now, I'm trying to think really fast.
And I here others in the bathroom as well and I really don't want have this talk HERE and NOW.
I admit I'm scared.
I fail to answer in a timely manner.
She's getting persistant.
"Daddy, what's that on your butt?"
So, my answer........
"It's a pimple", I say softly
"A pimple on your butt?", she exclaims.
Now, I'm in damage control.
Thankfully, I stalled long enough that everyone had cleared out.
Showed her the "cool" sinks, washed our hands and headed back out.
I must have skipped that chapter in the parenting manual.
Family Restrooms are cool.
Family Restrooms would be great, was entered into the comment box at Berlin.

Richmond

Rememer race fans, Richmond is this weekend.
Friday night Busch race
Saturday night cup race
One of the best race tracks on the whole circuit. Great side by side racing.

Schmoe Knows........baseball????

Yes, I do.
I have watched more Tiger games in April 2007 than I have in the last 20 years.
And I have had a Revelation.
I now, know why they call them "relief" pitchers.
It is NOT because they "relieve" a starting pitcher.
No, it is when they FINALLY get 3 outs, there is "relief" amongst the fans in attendance and those watching on TV.
Last year the Tigers were called the "cardiac kids", this year the bullpen can be called " Get the paddles......CLEAR.....Yep, we still have a pulse!"
The Tigers "ace", Todd "Jonsie" Jones is NOT happy unless he has men on base.
Again, top of the 9th, Tigers up by 2.
Jonsie feeling lonely on the mound, double, single just to make things interesting.
The Tigers can not get far in the playoffs with these relievers.
Don't get me started on Zumaya, who finally had a decent outing last night.
And Fernando Rodney.
When did the "crips" take up baseball?
Cap cocked sideways.
Bill straight out.
Do rag on the head.
I must lead a sheltered life, because I missed the Dateline report where gangs took up baseball for recreation.

The Tigers are 15-11.
They are 2-5 in extra inning games.
If not for the "gansta bullpen" and some late inning heroics by hitters in the bottom of the 8th inning, we could be either, 20-6 or 6-20.

The bright spot for the Tigers is Polanco, this guy is absolutely money.

Rod Allen as an analyst is an absolute joy to listen too. He is dead-on in talking about strategy within the game, one of the best.

Coming soon: My campaign for "Family Restrooms"

Beer Cans Thrown At Gordon

Last week I sent the following email to the "Jim Rome Show" and he read it on the air.

Rome,

First, I want to apologize to the Gordon fans for the "zona rednecks" who hurled their beer cans at Jeff Gordon's car at phoenix. I have been a race fan since I was 5 and was into Nascar, before "Nascar was cool".
Throwing ANYTHING on a racetrack has NEVER been cool.
Only a wife beater wearing, confederate flag waving, mullet-do, 2 tooth hack would do so. A race fan they are not.
I was never a Dale Earnhardt sr fan.
I am not a Jeff Gordon fan.
However, when the Intimidator finally won his Daytona 500, I was standing and cheering.
The day he died, I cried.
Yes, I have rooted against Jeff Gordon, but I have never hurled a 12 oz. missile at his car.
Yes, I was glad to see him slapped to reality with his divorce, when he lost over 40 mil.
But c'mon, at Phoenix, I thought it was cool, deserving and a great show of respect.
If Junior thought it was cool so should the "Red Nation".

Schmoe in GR

This past weekend, the "zona rednecks" made the trip to Talladega, the capital of the "Red Nation" and all hell broke loose after Gordon won his 77th career cup race and passed earnhardt sr. Again, that is not cool. It's pathetic, moronic and excusable. The solution is an easy one for the track, no more BYOB at the track. Yeh, the fans will be pissed, but the extra security did not help and that would be a logical solution. This had been the only track where it was an issue in the past, Phoenix was the exception last week. I feel for the racefans that get pelted when one of the 12oz missiles don't make it over the fence. Can you imagine a little Jeff Gordon fan get pelted with one of them in the head? Not cool.
see the picture:
http://www.nascar.com/2007/news/opinion/04/30/cross.words.talladega/index.html

Berlin:
The new 4 cylinders at Berlin have been the stars of the show in the first 2 weeks of the season.
The new late model rule needs a couple more weeks, before we can truly pass judgement.